If you haven’t heard of the 5 Love Languages before, it’s time you took the test. It may seem simplistic to break love down into five different messages, but it can really help understand how your partner shows their love. It also works with your family members and friends too.

The 5 love languages are:

1. Words of affirmation
2. Acts of service
3. Receiving gifts
4. Quality time
5. Physical touch

She Said…

Created by anthropologist Dr Gary Chapman, this simple system could totally transform your relationship. We all think we express love in an obvious way, but it might not be the case. You might say “I love you” with a hug, where as your partner might say it with a gift.

And if you’re waiting for that hug to say ‘I love you’ and all you get is a present, you might think something is missing.

We both took the test and here are our results.

My scores are:

10 Quality Time
7 Words of Affirmation
6 Physical Touch
4 Acts of Service
3 Receiving Gifts

The highest individual score you could have is 12, so Quality Time rates really highly for me. It’s important for me to make time for my partner and for my friends and those I love. I like to actually spend time with my friends and family and that’s what I appreciate most back from them as well.

I do wonder how my relationship with Jim has changed my love languages. His number one score is Quality Time as well and I think I’ve learned that time is the best gift you can give someone from Jim.

Growing up my dad would give me a lot of gifts, but it was because he didn’t have a lot of time. He was always busy with work. He replaced time with gifts, and while I appreciated the sentiment, I always appreciated any moment with him more.

I think I’ve taken that relationship into my adulthood now, and while I love finding and giving a really great gift, I appreciate more going out of my way to spend time with someone and to tell them what they mean to me.

What if your love languages don’t match?

I think our relationship has been much smoother sailing because we both speak the same love languages. Our top three are the same, though in a slightly different order, so we can both recognise the same love messages with each other.

If you are in a relationship where Acts of Service is the number one for your partner and you’re waiting for time or words, it can feel really frustrating.

Understanding that your partner shows their love through different acts can take the pressure off you waiting to hear the words. A conversation with them to remind them to say it or to hug you more often is helpful. Understanding that the small things they do for you every day say I love you is so valuable.

It can really transform your relationship when you can recognise the signs of love from each other and speak each other’s language. Maybe if your number one is Words of Affirmation, you don’t need to say it as often to your partner, but rather show them and do something for them so they’ll understand that you love them.

You can click here to find out what your love language is and we’d love to know if you match with your partner – or do you speak totally different love languages? How does that work in your relationship?

He Said…

Trying to make sense of how your partner feels on a day-to-day basis is like trying to look for a hay-shaped needle in a labyrinth of haystacks. So having a way to simplify and explain what makes our hearts tick is incredibly valuable.

But coming from a linguistics background, the idea of having a language that your heart responds to resonated even more with me.

Mrs Romance first put me onto this test when we were on a road trip in the USA. I usually don’t have the patience for this kind of personality test – though I have been guilty of doing those ones in Cosmo in the past! But she had me as a captive participant.

What came out at the end surprised us both.

As we pulled into our motel on Interstate 1, we examined my results of the Love Languages test. I’ve since done the test again and the results were the same.

Results are measured with a ceiling score of 12 and you get to see where all 5 love languages fall in your profile.

My love language scores are:

Quality Time (11)
Physical Touch (9)
Words of Affirmation (5)
Receiving Gifts (3)
Acts of Service (2)

Mrs Romance thought that because I’m a writer and love things like grammar and English so much that my love language would be Words of Affirmation. But I think Quality Time has been important to me ever since I heard my grandfather say:

the biggest compliment you can give anyone is your time.

And that’s really stuck with me. It’s interesting because Mrs R’s top love language is Quality Time too, so I wonder if this is one of the reasons how we can spend so much of our day together without killing each other!

Now it’s your turn. Try the test – it only takes about 10 minutes and it’s free. You also get your results emailed to you, which is great because I forgot to write mine down! Let us know what your alpha love language is and if it was what your were expecting!

Images by Mr & Mrs Romance.

The post He Said She Said – What’s your Love Language? appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

He Said:

Fake it till you make it.

She Said:

Nothing beats the feel of the real.

What’s more, he says:

I’ve never had a real tree at Christmas apart from when Mrs Romance and I have spent the festive season at her family home.

Her family always used to get a real tree, which and it was kind of strange for me. The needles drop and go everywhere, it smells kind of funny and the real ones are actually a lot harder to decorate than the fake ones.

Also, my mum, who’s a bit of an environmentalist, has always thought it was cruel to cut a tree down just for Christmas (even thought they’re usually farmed especially for this time of year) and I think my dad likes the idea of saving money just buying one fake tree that would last forever!

Probably because it’s all I’ve ever known, having an artificial tree is as much a part of Christmas as turkey and mince pies.

The same way people get nostalgic about having a real Christmas tree – the smell, the needles on the floor, the process of going out to choose your tree – my memories of Christmas always start with Dad stomping about and clambering up into the attic each year to lug the Christmas box down with the tree inside. Then Mum and I spending time together decorating the tree.

Mrs Romance and I have always had an artificial Christmas trees at home, though I don’t think she really enjoyed it in the past. I get the feeling she was just doing it to make me feel better.

However, we’ve recently upgraded to a beautiful Monterey Pine tree from Balsam Hill. It’s easily the most realistic tree we’ve ever had and I reckon this is the first year that Mrs Romance won’t mind not having a real one.

This tree looks amazing and was surprisingly easy to set up. All of its branches are hinged, so there’s not as much pulling a bending to do, and the lights are integral to the tree with the power coupling going through the trunk. This means there’s more time (and patience) available after you’ve put up the tree to focus on the decorations!

Check out Balsam Hill’s superb range of incredibly realistic trees here.

We were really surprised at how good our tree looked when we’d put it up. And it even comes with a couple of sets of gloves and its own storage bag for after Christmas.

Hopefully all this will have changed Mrs Romance’s view of having an artificial tree from now on!

And another thing, she says:

The choice between a real or fake Christmas tree for me is a geographical decision.

Growing up we always had a real tree. My birthday is a week before Christmas and it became a tradition that we’d go on 18th December and get our real Christmas tree.

I used to love getting in the car with Dad and driving down and picking the tree, bringing it home and decorating it on my birthday. The smell of a real tree takes me right back to my childhood.

As I got older, I realised the problem with having a real tree is that you can only have it up for a week before Christmas. You see in Australia, it’s just too hot to keep a real tree alive for longer than that – and still have it look good on Christmas day, that is.

My excitement for Christmas has grown even stronger as I get older. So when it came time for Jim and I to get our first Christmas tree together, I hit the shops early and got a fake tree so I could put it up as soon as possible.

A couple of years ago we were in America in December and that took Christmas to a whole new level. The real trees there are completely different to the real trees we get in Australia. I’m in love with American real Christmas trees and I wish we could have them here. But until we can, I’m pretty happy with a fake Christmas tree.

This year’s new tree is an upgrade and it has the most incredible lights in it, which makes me very happy. I waited until December to put it up but I think I might start a little bit earlier next year, now that I’ve got this perfect tree at home.

Or maybe we’ll do Christmas in July at our place?

What do you go for: a fake Christmas tree or a real one? Tell us in the comments!

Our beautiful tree is courtesy of Balsam Hill.

The post He Said, She Said: do you get a real or fake Christmas tree? appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

It’s always interesting to find out what makes two people stay together – what makes a relationship tick. In the same what we love hearing stories about how couples first met (here’s our story), discovering why they’re still together can be one of the most intriguing elements to a relationship.

For us it’s all about shared experiences. Happy, sad, exciting, unexpected (even the humdrum) stuff that happens brings form to a partnership.

And some of the things that happen to you both have long-term bonding consequences – just like the time we were struck by lightning.

That time we were struck by lightning

At the time, I was living in the beautiful suburb of Paddington in Sydney’s east, in a not so lovely share-house with a bunch of backpackers. Mrs Romance on the other hand was living one suburb over in Centennial Park. She was living with her friend in an amazing old house that was later pulled down and a block of 5 apartments now stands there.

Her house was great. It had a little yard and a car space round the back, and was right next door to the then Sydney Football Stadium and the SCG.

As this was at the time of the Sydney Olympics – yes, we’ve been together that long – the two stadiums were being used all the time. It was such a great time to be living in Sydney.

One night I was round Mrs Romance’s place for dinner. I remember the clouds around the city were the strangest colour – made even stranger by the lights from the stadium across the road.

Just after we’d eaten, the rain started and there was a deep roll of thunder.

It turned out both of us have a love of storms. Watching them and feeling the forces of nature fall from the sky.

We stepped out into the backyard to take a better look at the night sky. Playing the gentleman, I grabbed an umbrella and held it over us. Neither thought that was a bad idea at the time as the big, heavy droplets of rain tattled down overhead.

The sky was all kinds of colours: greens, purples, blues… it was beautiful. More thunder boomed overhead and we held each other closer.

I was holding the umbrella with my right hand with my left arm around Mrs Romance’s shoulders when it happened.

There was an incredible flash of brilliant white and the next thing we knew we were standing 10 feet apart. We just stared at each other.

We couldn’t believe what had just happened.

After we’d made sure we were both ok, we went back inside. We’d escaped injury by some miracle. Mrs Romance’s left shoulder where my hand had been was a little numb.

As for me, my right index finger, which had slipped off the wooden handle of the umbrella onto the metal shaft, was tingling and sore. The nail on that finger has never been the same since; the cuticle never grows properly, and the surface of the nail is always dimpled and uneven.

The umbrella was fine.

We think that the lightning had struck the tree or the washing line, or maybe even Mrs R’s car parked behind us, and had bounced onto the umbrella. It’s called a side flash.

The strangest thing is neither of us really remembers hearing the thunderclap. The one that got us.

A bit like the way that electricity makes a balloon stick to your shirt, perhaps this is why Mrs Romance and I have stayed together so long. We’ve both been positively charged!*

* I know in physics terms, if we were both positively charged, we’d repel one another – but it sounded better for us both to be ‘positive’!

More on lightning

Many people die or are badly injured from lightning strikes each year. We were incredibly lucky not to have been burnt, gone into cardiac arrest, or suffered long-term nerve or brain damage.

Here’s a great animated guide of the different types of lightning strikes, and here some top tips for staying safe in a lightning storm – plus our own: don’t go out in a storm with a brolly!

Also, check out our post on how to photograph lightning here.

Do you love storms? Have you ever been hit by lightning or know anyone who has? What was a pivotal moment in your relationship? Tell us in the comments below!

Images by Mr & Mrs Romance.

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Convention tells us we should be spending the festive season with our nearest and dearest… the problem Mrs Romance and I face is our dearest aren’t necessarily all that near.

As you might know, I’m from England. My sister, my parents and the rest of my extended family live there too.

It’s a long way from Australia, where we now live. Plus it’s bloody cold in England this time of year. Still, the strangest thing is I miss it.

Not all the time. I don’t have a constant hankering like a needy child tugging at my sleeve. I love living in Australia. It’s awesome.

But every now and again, I feel the need for a recharge. It’s a peculiar feeling.

But here are some numbers for you:

Last time I saw my mum and dad at Christmas was about 6 years ago, and the last time I was in England for Christmas was probably be about 10 years ago.

However, the last time I was away from Mrs Romance over Christmas was… well, we’ve never spent Christmas apart before. Not for 16 years! We had no idea what this was going to be like.

The beaches in Australia and England – can you tell which one’s which?!

Mrs Romance’s Christmas was full of prawns and sunshine; mine was holly trees and frost.

Still, we both knew it was something that needed to be done. No matter how much you like your in-laws, you never truly relax. Not the way you do with your actual family.

I really like my in-laws. They’re great. And I know Mrs R gets on with my side brilliantly too. But if she’d come with me to England this time, it wouldn’t have been the same.

All I wanted to do was hang around at home, not have to worry about being on any level of behaviour and just be with my family. Have another cup of tea, sweetheart.

Mrs R would have hated it. She’d have wanted to be in and out of London, in and out of Europe, in and out of everywhere while all I wanted was to be still for a while. Eat some sausage rolls, dear.

In essence, I needed to be spoiled a bit. And to spoil my mum and dad a bit too.

Mrs R and her folks took it easy over Christmas. Mum, Dad and I explored the English countryside.

Our respective Christmas lunches.

But was it what I expected? Did I come away feeling fulfilled? Were Mrs Romance’s fears of me cancelling my return flight valid?

In short, I had the time of my life. It was exactly what I needed.

But there have been some unexpected results too.

Mrs Romance and I missed each other a lot, so being apart for a month was surprisingly good for our relationship.

I realised how much I like living in Australia, which is another good thing. That part could have gone horribly wrong, couldn’t it?

The break made Mrs Romance relax as much as it did me. She actually stopped, put her feet up and enjoyed time with her family too. Ordinarily she would have been worrying that I was ok spending Christmas with her folks. Me, the poor, homesick English orphan puppy.

Yes, I do milk it when I can!

Mrs R was snorkelling at the beach. Meanwhile – at midday – this was our shadow!

Would we want to be apart more?

No, of course not. We love working and living together. But because we are together more than most couples, I think short breaks are good for us. Besides, it gives us new stories to tell each other.

Would we think about spending Christmas apart again though?

Yes, I think we would. We both loved the great quality time with our families. Maybe we’ll need to plan two Christmas’ a year so we can both enjoy the festive season with our relatives. Christmas in July, perhaps?

Mrs Romance’s last sunrise of freedom and my last sunrise in the UK.

How about you? Is Christmas alone with your side of the family your idea of heaven or purgatory? Do you fancy the idea of being away from your significant other over the festive season? Tell us in the comments!

Images by Mr and Mrs Romance mostly using Olympus OM-D E-M1 and OM-D E-M5 mark II cameras respectively.

The post Why we spent this Christmas apart (and would we do it again?) appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

First and foremost, ‘romance awareness’ shouldn’t be scary! As I understand it, to be romance aware is just to be on the lookout for ways to be nice to the person you love in your life – to do nice things for them.

Showing a bit of romance doesn’t have to be a lavish or overwhelmingly expensive gesture. Often it’s the simpler actions that speak loudest.

For Mrs Romance and I, all we do is be open to thinking of ways to make each other’s lives as pleasant an experience as possible. We look to bring romance to the everyday.

This has kind of become our family philosophy.

It might be as simple as making sure you both go to bed at the same time or bringing your partner a glass of water in the morning when they wake up.

Maybe your other half likes having their back rubbed when they’re watching TV.

Do it. It’ll make their day better.

The other important thing to do is to be aware of what your partner’s doing. Anticipate what they might need. If I hear Mrs Romance’s asthma playing up, I’ll go and find her inhaler. She might not need it but that’s not important.

Most of all though, remember to laugh at yourself and with each other.

7 ways to be more romantic

1. Listen to your partner

Your time is your most valuable gift. Take time to listen to your partner, but really listen. Put your phone down. Turn the TV off. Spend some quality time together and show them you are listening.

2. Surprise them
Mrs Romance loves a surprise – even if it’s just her favourite chocolates. I sometimes buy some and leave them somewhere I know she’ll find them eventually. Here are some other ideas we’ve had for romantic surprises.

3. Go on a date

Take your partner on a night out and get a taxi so you can both have fun. If getting a babysitter is too hard, pick up a takeaway and have a movie night at home instead.

4. Reminisce together

Go through old photos, talk about old times or go and revisit the place of your first date. Relive those memories of first meeting and falling in love.

5. Do their chores

It may not seem like the most romantic thing, but if you can tick a boring task off their to do list, you free up time for more fun. These small gestures like unpacking the dishwasher or doing the washing are the things that mean the most at the end of a long day.

6. Book a holiday

Something to plan for and look forward to creates a bit of excitement and romance. Even a weekend away or a stay-cation sets the scene. We love a stay-cation – we go away in our own city all the time.

Even better, book a hotel room on the spur of the moment. Spontaneity can be very romantic. Check out LastMinute.com, Stayz.com or the phone app Hotel Tonight.

7. Go public

Make sure you say nice things about each other to friends and family. A lot of the time we might think nice things about each other but saying positive things makes a huge difference.

Do you go for big romantic gestures? What are the little things that you find the most romantic?

The post 7 ways to be more romantic appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

Plus 17 reasons why I have a love-hate relationship with my bed.

There really is something about getting into a really comfy bed that wins. I’ve tried various other pieces of furniture and nothing can beat it.

Recliner armchairs, sprawled across a sofa, planked out on a soft floor rug… I’ve even tried a bloody chase lounge for god’s sake. Nothing compares to a good bed.

So, to put it briefly: bed good!

But there’s always room for improvement:

How to maximise the snuggle factor of your bed – our top 5 tips

Of course, all these exquisite reasons I love to hate my bed don’t come free. I have to work for them – like any good pleasure slave.

Here are our top tips for not only making your bed the most comfortable damn thing since 1st class but also making it easy to maintain:

1. How to fold a fitted sheet

Beth from Baby-Mac.com has discovered the secret to folding a fitted sheet and we love it.

2. How to find your bedding set in a split second

For an easy, rapid, painless change of bedclothes, we have subscribed to the Martha Stewart method (also in Beth’s video right at the end).

Fold your bed sheet sets up all together so that they all fit in one of the pillowcases. Then, when it’s time to change, you’re not rummaging around for that last pillowcase or trying to match up two different sheets.

3. Electric blankets vs flannelette sheets.

What’s better? Well, for instant gratification, electric blankets win providing you’ve remembered to turn them on.

However, once you’re snuggled up and you’ve turned the blanket off (it’s not a good idea to sleep with one switched on), the bed cools down again. Flannelette sheets don’t do that – plus they’re cheaper.

4. Our top 3 ways to warm up a chilly bed

• Get undressed in bed. All the movement warms your bed nicely – though it does make the covers all messy.
• A 3-4 minute blast from a hairdryer between the sheets will have your bed toasty for you.
• Pop your sheets in the tumble dryer before you get into bed – or just get your mug of a husband to warm your side of the bed for you… yes, I have done this. I’m a mug.

5. The biology of the most comfortable bed in the world (as in mine):

• Invest in a pillow-top mattress. It’s an extra layer of love on top of your springs and foam mattress.
• Buy a topper – an extra fitted sheet thing with padding that acts like a duvet for your mattress.
• Buy flannelette sheets – especially for winter.
• Buy an over-sized duvet – you can never have enough covers.
• Buy an even bigger quilt that goes over the top of everything. It’ll keep all that chilly air out and all the toasty air in under the covers.
• And of course, don’t skimp on cheap pillows!

But it’s not all plain sailing.

Even though it’s my favourite place to be in the world, I do have some issues with my bed.

While I did buy (and therefore own) this bed, it still feels like it has some strange hold over me. It’s as if – since I let it into my home – it’s taken control. It’s like that film Hand That Rocks the Cradle.

Here are 17 reasons why I have a love-hate relationship with my incredibly comfy yet slightly sinister bed:

17 reasons why I don’t entirely trust my bed

1. It makes me late all the time.
2. It somehow lets me find the most comfortable spot to be in right when I’ve made the decision to get up.
3. It somehow lets Mrs Romance find the most comfortable spot to snuggle up with me when either or both of us have made the decision to get up.
4. It gives all the covers to Mrs Romance over the period of about half the night.
5. It calls to me in the most inappropriate moments.
6. It encourages enormous elasticity in the ‘just 5 more minutes’ rule.
7. Conditioning from reading a lot in bed now means I feel very sleepy whenever I have to read something.
8. It makes me feel happy when it’s raining outside.
9. It makes me wish for rain if it’s sunny.
10. It has inspired the next level up from working at home: working from bed.
11. It has made me hate all other forms of furniture – including other beds.
12. It regularly makes even the most banal news item so absolutely riveting, I just have to read the whole article extremely thoroughly before I get up.
13. It makes me hate the prospect of breakfast out.
14. It makes me hate the prospect of a shower.
15. It makes me hate the prospect of getting dressed.
16. It makes me hate the prospect of being vertical.
17. It manipulates me into washing its clothes by using the promise of the greatest pleasure known to man: that clean sheet feel.

They say nothing’s more important than a good night’s sleep. I intend to agree. I also think napping is particularly important – as is having a sleep in.

So don’t just sleep well, people. Sleep smart!

What are your tips for a very comfy bed? Do you have a love hate relationship with your bed? Tell us in the comments!

The post 5 ways to max out your bed’s snuggle factor appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

Mrs Romance and I love travelling together. We’ve been doing it for years – pretty much from when we first met. But every now and then it’s nice to have our own trips away.

When I first met Mrs R, I’d been to quite a few more places than she had. Now it’s pretty much even.

But that’s only from us going places with other people – or even on our own. It’s not like we don’t want to go together. Far from it. We travel so well with one another.

When the opportunity has presented itself, we do go our separate ways though. And it makes coming home something to look forward to.

When one of us does go away, telling the other person about what we did, looking at photos and spending time back together sometimes ends up being one of the best parts of the trip.

Even when you’re travelling together – especially if it’s a long trip – having a day where you’re not in each other’s pockets for the duration is essential.

Friends of ours do things a bit differently though. They rarely – if ever – go on holiday together. It’s got to the point where they both do their own thing vacation-wise.

The best example of what I mean is when she was heavily pregnant with their first child and he went on a 2-month diving trip to Indonesia.

I’m not judging them and it seems to work in their relationship, but I wouldn’t be confident about coming home and my key still working in the front door if I did that!

I mean perhaps it would have been ok if she hadn’t been about to give birth – I don’t think she likes SCUBA diving anyway so she wasn’t interested in going with him.

It’s a tricky area. Both Mrs R and I suffer from FOMO – an acronym I’ve only recently managed to commit to memory. Whenever either of us goes away on our own, there’s a hint of jealousy happening.

For that reason, we make sure we fully debrief what we got up to when we get home to the other person.

Telling each other about our solo adventures has a number of benefits.

1. It’s good to keep those communication channels open and well used.

2. It reduces attacks of Fear Of Missing Out.

3. It reduces the amount of time spent boring everyone else with details of your trip because you’ve had a chance to go through everything with someone who’s not only genuinely interested, but who’s also a captive audience!

Do you take separate trips away without your other half? What do you think of our friends and their solo sojourns? How much do you tell your other half when you return? Tell us in the comments!

 Images by Mr & Mrs Romance.

The post How do you travel – should couples take trips separately? appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

We’ve been travelling together for a long time. It’s not always been easy and of course we’ve had arguments – huge rows, in fact. But we’re still together and still love travelling together more and more every time we go away.

I suppose you could say we’re experts at travelling as a couple – that doesn’t mean we’re not still learning, mind you. And we still get cranky with each other when we’re travelling – I blame Mrs R, of course!

But here are our top 10 tips for travelling with your other half:

1. Know your own travel style

Do you go for museums over pubs? Shopping over hiking? Poolside or cultural exploration? It’s important you know what you like to do. That way you can start making your travel plans with your partner.

2. Learn how your partner likes to travel

If you’re not sure of how your mista or missus likes to travel – especially if you’re in a new relationship – ask them about their favourite holiday and what they liked about it. Apply what you’ve learnt to understand what’s going to be popular with him or her.

3. Work out a compromise

If by some freakish coincidence you both like the same things travel-wise, great. Otherwise share out your travel time. Perhaps make one day all about your travel plans and then next based around what they want to do.

4. Spend time apart

It can be intense to spend 24/7 together, and it’s okay to spend some time apart to recharge. Go and do your own thing for a morning or afternoon. Best of all when you meet back up, you’ll have something to talk about as well.

5. Pack an outfit in each other’s bag

Just in case your luggage goes missing, having at least one change of clothes takes the stress out of that initial flight. Stressing out waiting for the airline to find your bag can ruin the start of your holiday, something no one wants.

6. Don’t fear the silence

Just because you’ve got nothing to say doesn’t mean you’re not happy. Sometimes spending time silently together on holiday can strengthen the bond between you. Don’t feel like you have to fill every moment with words. Just be together and enjoy the company.

7. Don’t forget to ask strangers to take a photo of you together

…or get really good at selfies!

8. Don’t feel like you have to isolate yourselves as a couple

Eat in communal areas like at the bar instead of a table for two. Go on group activities and tours, talk to locals, ask waiters and hotel staff for their own recommendations… you’ll have such a different experience.

9. Create your own games and travel hobbies

A while ago, Mrs Romance started taking photos of doors while we were travelling. It’s now a thing we look for whenever we’re away. We also play this weird guessing game to pass the time when we’re bored! Mrs R comes out with the funniest answers.

10. Most importantly, make sure you laugh

Laugh at each other, laugh at yourself; laugh as much as you can when you’re travelling. It makes your time away so much more enjoyable and valuable.

How well do you and your partner travel together? What do you do to make the most of travel with your other half? Do you play any travel games when you’re out and about? Tell us in the comments!

Images by Mrs Romance.

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Think about it for a second – how many old sayings and expressions do you know about money? I can think of about 10 straight off. But the one that I’ve been pondering is: “When poverty comes in through the door, love flies out the window.”

Bit sad really, isn’t it? Are we really in the dark about how to manage our finances in a relationship?

An AMEX study looked into this more and found that only 43% of the general population discuss money before marriage, but this increased to 57% of affluent couple, and 81% of young professionals. 12% of people admitted to NEVER discussing their finances. ¹

Only 51% of couples talk about how to manage their money before their wedding day. ²

But with almost everyone agreeing that talking about your spouse’s financial history is important, only 26% of us are actually having that conversation. ³

So let’s start the conversation. Let’s pull back the financial curtain.

In our relationship, Mrs Romance and I have one shared bank account. We pool our money and have always shared costs and expenses from the same pot.

It might be the same for you. Then again, it might seem utterly alien to you and you shudder at the thought. And that’s ok.

We’re used to having just one pot to put all our money into – it’s certainly easier for us to manage. But we’ve done it this way ever since Mrs Romance moved to the UK. The United Kingdom is a notoriously difficult place to get a bank account if you are – as we endearingly put it – ‘foreign’.

If we want to buy something special for each other (or for ourselves!) and we want it to be a surprise, we’ve got our own credit cards.

I am basically a mathematical amoeba.

When it comes to paying for stuff – like utilities, balancing accounts, restaurant bills etc, that duty seems to have defaulted to Mrs Romance.

I am basically a mathematical amoeba. And that single mathematical cell’s purpose is entirely taken up with finding a) the easiest way to solve a maths problem or b) the fastest way to avoid a maths problem. I have neither the propensity nor the concentration to deal with numbers well.

Having said that, Mrs Romance LUURVS numbers.

It sounds like a cop-out, doesn’t it? Yes, you’re probably right. But it seems to work with us.

It comes as an interesting shift from how we grew up. Both Mrs R and I have quite traditional parents – where it was the man’s role to pay up at the end of a night. I think it was probably my inept dithering and Mrs Romance’s impatience and lofty brain power that finally set the autocorrect on these roles.

The thing is I contribute to the relationship in other ways. And that’s what’s important. Clearly defined roles: not important. Support and honesty with each other: very important.

If you’ve got that, you’re onto a winning recipe.

We want to start a discussion about how you manage your finances as a couple. What works for you? What do you dislike about how your partner deals with money?

Image by Mrs Romance, sourced stats from businessinsider.com.

The post Who pays in your relationship? appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.

Conferences are tough, strength-sapping and uncompromising. It’s important you’re prepared. Here’s what we’ll have with us to survive ProBlogger: our SAS conference kits!

Of course, what a woman carries with her and what a man has with him will be quite different. For starters, Mrs Romance’s ideas were all quite smart and instinctively practical. My initial choices were nonsensical and probably not particularly professional.

Mrs R set me right though, and my hipflask and Lego figures were put on the maybe list and we focused on more realistic things for me to take to ProBlogger.

He Said

I’m not a man-bag type of guy; if I can’t fit it in my jacket pockets, it stays behind.

She Said

Why don’t women’s clothes have pockets?

What’s more, he says:

In all seriousness, going to these ProBlogger events is incredibly useful to people who want to improve their blogging skills. This is the second event I’ve been to. Meeting and networking with others in the industry is so constructive.

Still, being prepared allows you to keep your concentration up. My list of things to take with me is pretty short but every single element is crucial to my ProBlogger survival. Apart from the Lego man… just kidding.

– Jacket – keeps me warm against the air-con and has lots of pockets… sorry, Mrs R. Didn’t mean to rub it in.
– Sunnies – it is Queensland don’t forget.
– Business cards – you never know who you might bump into.
– Watch – I do love my watches!
– Wallet – duh. There’s a bar in the hotel!
– Mobile and mobile charger – I feel naked without my phone and get panicky when its battery drops below 20%.
– Box of lollies – great for slow points in the day and bribery!

And another thing, she says:

I’m really excited for the ProBlogger conference. It’s my fourth time and I can’t wait to catch up with some old friends and meet some new ones.

Everyone is writing packing lists so I thought I’d let you know what’s in my bag.

I like to pack light, but I’m so bad at it.

The only way I can pack light is to under-pack. Then I always regret not packing something and I don’t have any options. I do like options.

As most of my clothes don’t have pockets, I’m planning on taking a bag. Plus you know I always have to carry a few things for Mr R whenever we go out.

My first thought is just to take a small shoulder bag. You don’t want a clutch bag as you’ll need free hands to meet new people, exchange business cards and juggle food at break times.

In my shoulder bag I’ll pack my essentials:

– Wallet
– Business Cards
– Lip balm & lipstick
– Mints
– Phone
– Portable phone charger (a must!)
– Sunglasses
– Perfume
– Flyaway tamer (a very handy hair product)
– A snack, to avoid feeling hangry

But to save any trips back up to my room for the rest of my things, I’ll probably take a tote bag. As extra I’ll also pack:

– iPad
– Notepad & pen
– A wrap to keep warm in the air-con
– Extra snacks

We’d also like to add a few extras to our lists:

– Compedes – these things are like foot-based miracles.
– Tissues – there’s no room for a sniffle at a conference!

Top Tip

JJ from 84th&3rdcom:

Take a photo of your business card – make this your locked screen image and if you leave your phone somewhere, people will be able to return it to you straight away! Genius!

If you’re attending a blog conference for the first time, relax. There’s nothing to be nervous about. Just smile, breathe and try to take it all in.

Have you been to a blog conference before? Are you going to Problogger?

Images by Mrs Romance.

The post He Said She Said: what have we got in our pockets? Our ProBlogger survival kits appeared first on Mr and Mrs Romance.