I come from a long line of biscuit dunkers. My father dunked and his father before him. But the Tim Tam Slam is the very pinnacle of dunking excellence.
Dunking is a highly skilled process. It requires poise, confidence, a deep knowledge of your medium. A failure on any of these fronts will end in your biscuit dropping into your tea. Dunking’s tough – but it’s worth it!
The strategy needed to pull off the perfect Slam is more complex than any biscuit dunk known to man… but first things first.
A Tim Tam – for you poor devils who haven’t tried one – is a chocolate biscuit with a creamy filling and covered in a layer of choc.
The UK’s humble McVitie’s Penguin is where Tim Tams originate from, but like humans and the apes, Tim Tams have evolved to be an entirely more advanced creature.
A Tim Tam Slam occurs when you ‘drink’ a hot beverage through the Tim Tam like a straw. The hot liquid fills the biscuit, melting everything inside. You’re left with a chocolate bag of melty genius.
The Tim Tam Slam
Here’s what you need:
- A hot drink – tea, coffee, hot choc, mocca, chai… you get the idea.
- A pack of Tim Tams.
- Incisor teeth – 1 set of.
Here’s what you do:
- Bite the corner off your Tim Tam.
- Turn the Tim Tam and bite the diagonally opposite corner off.
- Hold the Tim Tam like a straw and dip the end in your drink.
- Suck your drink through the Tim Tam until some of your tasty beverage is in your mouth.
- Carefully but quickly eat your biscuit.
- Settle into a bed of pillows half-cut and enjoy the rush of pleasure as your mouth experiences tastebud nirvana.
Areas of danger:
- Don’t hold your Tim Tam in the drink too long or it will collapse and disappear into your tea. This is a horrible feeling, and – to be honest – an amateur mistake.
- Don’t take too long to eat your Tim Tam either. To hold it up and admire it is to beckon on a bickie apocalypse. As it is written, so the Tim Tam shall rise, so it shall fall. Right into your lap. Very messy.
- Biting the biscuit in half can also turn into choc-tastrophy. The insides are so soft and squishy, the whole thing will fall apart. Popping the whole thing in your mouth really is your best bet.
Which flavour to choose:
This is where things get personal. I enjoy the surety the Tim Tam Original affords. Mrs Romance, however, lives a life of opulence and indulgence, and so enjoys a Choc Double Coat Tim Tam to slam. She says the double chocolate coating gives the biscuit more structure so it doesn’t collapse as easily. It’s the thinnest veiled ruse I’ve ever heard of.
There are so many flavours to choose from here in Australia, we really are spoilt. The UK and Canada have a limited range to enjoy.
But recently, the game changed again! Famed patissier Adriano Zumbo has collaborated with Arnott’s to bring out three new incredible flavours. The Raspberry White Choc, the Salted Caramel and the Choc Brownie all hit stores 3rd March 2014 and the Slam Nation will be in its element!
In fact these new flavours have brought Mrs Romance and me closer together: we both love the Salted Caramel be it to slam or otherwise.
What is your favourite Tim Tam flavour? Or do you have a personal favourite bickie to dunk?